Role models and true stories of patience

From 16Guidelines

The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso

The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize thirty years after he fled into exile from his native Tibet. Despite the complete takeover of his country by China, huge loss of life, the destruction of hundreds of monasteries and the relentless damage caused to wildlife and the environment over many decades, he has consistently sought a peaceful and mutually beneficial resolution with the Chinese government.

The Dalai Lama has often said that the Chinese are his greatest friends, because they have given him the gift of patience. “Those who would harm us are in a sense teachers of patience. Such people teach us what we could never learn merely from hearing someone speak, be they ever so wise or holy.”

Despite suffering personal hardship, and listening on a daily basis to the heart-rending stories from the Tibetan refugees who arrive to see him, the Dalai Lama remains at peace with himself and the world. His primary response remains one of love rather than anger.

On 1st January 2000, the Dalai Lama presented a special millennial appeal for ‘internal disarmament’ as the precondition for world peace. He defined internal disarmament as ridding ourselves of all the negative emotions that result in violence. “There is no need for temple or church, for mosque or synagogue, no need for complicated philosophy, doctrine or dogma. Our own heart, our own mind is the temple.”

Some of the exiled Tibetan community feel that the Dalai Lama has taken the practice of patience to an unhelpful extreme. They would prefer to retaliate against the Chinese occupation of their country with anger and violence. It is impossible to know whether that strategy would be effective in shifting the political stalemate between the two governments. However, the Dalai Lama argues that even if violence seems to have a positive effect in the short term, it leaves a long term legacy of bitterness and hatred that is hard to undo.

Isabel Maude

In April 1999, three-year-old Isabel Maude suffered multiple organ failure and cardiac arrest as a result of doctors failing to recognise the life-threatening symptoms of Necrotising Fasciitis, a bacterium that rapidly eats the flesh. Isabel survived, but was left with a large wound around the stomach and groin area requiring extensive plastic surgery. Her parents, Charlotte and Jason Maude, decided not to sue the National Health Service over her treatment. “We live in a blame culture where people now assume that if anything goes wrong you should sue. Yes, Isabel would have a rough time because of her surgery and subsequent deformity, but money wasn’t going to help. By suing we would only have succeeded in putting doctors off medicine. It seemed somehow vindictive. We have forgiven the doctors for not spotting the potentially fatal symptoms. These newly qualified young doctors just don’t have the experience to diagnose fatally sick children.” Instead, working with the paediatric consultant who helped save Isabel’s life, they have set up Isabel Healthcare www.isabelhealthcare.com to help medical professionals around the world to reduce errors in diagnosis and improve patient care. Reproduced with permission from The Forgiveness Project [www.theforgivenessproject.com]